Here's my one spoof.
Biological attacks can happen at any time and any place. The federal government has no idea where terrorists may strike next. No, we really don't. There's increased chatter, and our alert level is high, but we are unable to say where the next attack is.
Do you happen to live in Clinton, Missouri? How about Warrenton or New Madrid? Have you considered a long winter vacation? There's never been a better time to visit Hawaii! Consider -- Hawaii doesn't have the earthquake problems you have in New Madrid, and face it, wouldn't you rather be lying on the beach in Waikiki? Think about it. There's more excitement in a square block of Honolulu than there is in all of Clinton or Warrenton. And the Department of Homeland Security wants you to enjoy 30 glorious days in Hawaii -- on us! Our tour directors, dressed for Halloween as our brave men and women in uniform, will be by shortly to whisk you away on the trip of a lifetime. Just remain in your homes and they'll come knocking!
